miércoles, 20 de octubre de 2010

UN SONETO A SOR AMPARO


Oh, pequeña sor de la Valldigna...
de la ilustre Iglesia, aprendiz
no viene de vos lo que me indigna...
me apena, me obnubila, mi desliz

Dejad vuestra cuita, aún benigna
que abadesa sois, no meretriz...
mas no haga de ello una consigna
follar es sano, a más, hace feliz...

Afinada, !Y de un agujero solo!
como esa que dicen de Bartolo
la flauta de su esposo espera

Muñid el instrumento con decoro
importante disfrutar del protocolo
!Y tragad la melodía entera!...

60 comentarios:

Javier Tellagorri dijo...

Jodó, Charne. Qué lírico-porno te has puesto a cuenta de una abadesa levantina nuestra.
Está visto que te falta o echas de menos la "charme féminin" francaise, y vas runruneando por los caminos.

Jupa dijo...

Le haré leer este soneto a quien conmigo duerme, a ver si se aplica, que mi flauta de tan larga espera al final desespera.... y sin ningún reo a quien ejecutar y que calme mis cuitas...

CAROLVS II, HISPANIARVM ET INDIARVM REX. GABACHORVM MARCHIO ET LIBERA ILUSTRATIONE ECCLESIA CARDINALIS dijo...

Cardenal Charne, no conozco el desmán de la abadesa aprendiz que la hace merecedora de estas pornográficas estrofas, nos lo tendrás que explicar...

Un saludo.

aspirante dijo...

Sabios consejos, como todos los vuestros.

Jupa dijo...

Ay sor Amparo, le haria oir todas mis melodias en clave de Sol y en clave de Fa, con un buen protocolo que prepare su fino oido para tal menester... Las melodias fluyen dentro de mi cual compositor con las musas a su favor y ando penado y triste de guardarlas para mi...
Un melodioso beso para usted.

charneguet dijo...

Así es querido Tella...Llevo meses sin comerme un rosco y eso, quieras o no, te retrotrae...Si, ya, tienes a la parienta, pero no es lo mismo!Copón!...

charneguet dijo...

Ah, buen Jupa...!Como te comprendo!...Debemos romper la tediosa monotonía y retar al destino...No más flautas ni turutas...!Vamonos de Putas!...

pequeña aprendiz dijo...

Controlese eminencia¡¡¡mire lo que ha provocado, hasta el verdugo mayor del reino me esta tirando los tejos... aun asi, agradezco su soneto y sus consejos.... un saludo

charneguet dijo...

Dificil me lo poneis, querido Carolvs...Ya sabeis que, según que temas, mejor es soslayarlo...Mucho me temo un arisco levantisco de nuestras abadesas y se lien como locas a escribir sonetos salidos de tono...Bueno, a ver si al menos logran ponérnolas tiesas y rompemos la monotonia de tono bajo que dice sufrir Jupa con su flauta.

Jupa dijo...

Eminencia Charneguet, encantado de su propuesta... Me iría con usted de putas aunque en mis bolsillos repercuta...

Old Nick dijo...

¡¡¡JOOOOOOODEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR¡¡¡¡
¡¡¡¡Y como está el Claustro deste Conventooooooo!!!
Eminencia Reverendísima, Perplejo me habéis dejado,-(Y mira que es Difícil, Dado Mi Expediente Vital y Disciplinario)-,.
¡Vos, a quien yo Consideraba Espejo de Virtudes y UN CASTÍSIMO Y PÍISIMO CARDENAL,(No como DOM Di Valero)
¿Salís Agora Con Sonetos Fechos al Erótico Modo Italianizante?
¡A Fé mía que Sois Sorprendente, Monseñor Charneguet!
¿Dais Clases Particulares a las Hermanas Aprendizas? ¡Buena Lección Musical, que Presumo algún día EXPLICARÉIS, para ver si "Le Cogemos el Pastoral Estilo"...
¿Queréis acaso Dejarme como un trapo, o peor, como un Poetastro Aficionado?
Pues Veremos lo que saco en un par de minutos...

¡Que Ejemplo de Equidad y de Maestría!
¡Cómo Mostráis vuestro Arrepentimiento,
Al Ceder a la CARNE CON PIMIENTO,
Vuestra Probada y Célibe Hidalguía...

Si la Hermana Aprendiz Saber Quería
Conocer el Manejo de Músico Instrumento
y No hallásteis el Mejor Momento,
En CORTE de Sesión Camera Pensaría-

Pues la Flauta de Osiris fue regalo
y el Fagot y el öboe sus Parientes
Gustan mucho a la Moza y la Casada

Pues sean de Metal de Caña o Palo,
Tiesas están y Suenan Complacientes,
si se sopla,que Aspirar es de Musa Mamada....

Si se Acompaña de un Órgano a "Pistón"
y de un Buen "Fuelle"¡La Madre que Canción!

Cuidaos Monseñor y Hermana que Duetos y Trios Traen la Confusión...

Sonrisas Saludos, Consolación de "Afligidos/as" Amén y Laus deo y,
¡¡RIAU RIAU!!

charneguet dijo...

Nada más lejos, reverendo hermano en la fé laica, que haceros competencia. Inútil, por otra parte...Sois vos la toledana y la lumbrera del rimeo en esta Iglesia !Y bien que me place!...En breve os harán cardenal y contareis con todos los plácets favorables de los cardenales y "cardenalas" de ésta, nuestra Iglesia. !Y con el de Nos!, en lugar preferente.
Loado sea, reverendísimo....

Old Nick dijo...

Gracias,Eminencia Charneguet. Pero Vuestro Soneto Tiene Un Mérito, que yo, REFRENDO y EStimo en lo que Vale.
Me honráis en Demasía. Más Sabed que como Creí que Estábamos de Coña, quise Ponerme a Tono y Nada Más.
que entre Hermanos Estoy y Ofenderos es Algo en lo que Nunca Pensaría...
¡Amén y Laus Deo!
Un Cordial Saludo y
¡¡Arriba la Flauta,
Arriba la Flauta
y abajo el Trombón,
y RIAU RIAU!!

Love de Pega dijo...

Hasta hoy no me había enterado de vuestra existencia, querido Charneguet, pero me gustan vuestras rimas.

charneguet dijo...

!Copón! !Pues ya iba siendo hora!...No creo que tu Love sea tan de Pega como refleja tu nick. Casi diría que oculta un espíritu bastante cultivado. Bienvenido a mi bitácora.

dadaista dijo...

Bella y profunda poesía...eminencia.

Old Nick dijo...

¡¡Gracias Eminentísimo y Querido Hermano, Charneguet a Vos, a la Querida Madre Candela, al Cardenal Tellagorri y a Todos/as Cuantos han Apoyado y llevado a Buen Término esta Designación Tan Honrosa como Inesperada!!
Desde hoy Prometo Solemnemente, Cumplir Las Obligaciones de Este Ministerio, que mis Añoradas Abuelas hubiesen Estimado como Muy Acorde Con mis "INMENSOS"Méritos...
¡Y tras esta Prueba de Humildad y MODESTIA, Me despido de Todos y en Especial del Pobre Monsignore Di Valero, aquejado de Pachucheces Resfriatorias, Deseandóos Paz, Felicidad y Alegría.
y Para terminar esta MiniHomilía de Agradecimiento, Dos Consejos Pastorales, ante los Tiempos "Interesantes" que se nos Avecinan de Aquí a que ZP "SE LARGUE" por las Urnas o Algún PIAZO DESCÁNDALO QUE NI SAN SATANÁS BENDITO,-PATRON DE JUECES, FISCALES Y ABOGADOS, CORRUPTOS-, PUEDA "ARCHIVAR" o Intente "QUEDARSE A LA BOLVARIANA MODA".
"Tened Fé en Dios y Mantened Seca la Pólvora", que dijo Cromwell a sus Puritanos en Naseby.
Y la última, Que es Mi LEMA PERSONAL, desde que lo descubrí de niño, al Estudiar la Historia de los Persas.
"Las Dos Únicas Cosas que deben Enseñarse a los Niños y Jóvenes son: "Decir Siempre la Verdad y Disparar Bien las Flechas".
Y ¡Amén y Laus Deo
y que se lleve a Toda esa Gentuza,
el Buen Diablo ASMODEO!
¡Daos por Abrazados/as y Bendecidos c on un Hisopazo de Ron Negrita Añejísimo!
Y ¡¡RIAU RIAU!!

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